Remember Me
by PrettyBoyAngel
Summary: Spoilers 5x01 Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel. *Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.
1. Chapter 1: Amnesia?

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

Castiel. Please. It's important. It's about Dean.

Those words echoed in my head. I tried not to think about what could have possibly happened, but instead flew right to where the Winchesters were.

I immediately saw Sam on the floor holding his older brother up. Dean was unconscious, but I could tell he was still alive. I was relieved.

"What happened?" I asked the younger brother as I walked closer towards the two of them.

"I don't know. All I know is that he hit his head. Hard. I can't find any bleeding, but he completely passed out. I think we should take him to the hospital," Sam said.

I had a better idea though. I reached over and touched his forehead, but nothing happened. I tried again to heal my dear friend, but again nothing happened. I looked over at Sam, whose worried expression only seemed to get worse.

"That sounds like a good plan." I paused for a moment wondering why he called me over in the first place if not to heal his brother, but Sam's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"And that's why I called you. The nearest hospital is probably at least two hours from here so I thought maybe you could-"

"Bring you there myself," I finished for him.

"Yeah. If it's okay. But just saying, please don't bring us inside the hospital. I think that might raise a few questions," Sam said smiling a little.

I nodded and brought all three of us outside the nearest hospital. Sam brought Dean in and the nurses put him on a stretcher and wheeled him down the hallway. I waited by the entrance. After Sam answered a bunch of questions, he walked back over to me and sat down.

"You can sit down, Cas," Sam said signaling to the seat beside him.

I sat down, but I did not say a word. I was worried about Dean. What could have happened to him? Why would my powers not heal a normal head injury? It did not make sense.

It seemed like hours passed before the doctor came over to us.

"He's going to be okay," he paused for a minute, "although there are complications."

"What's wrong?" Sam said, standing up. I stood up as well.

"He's awake now, but he suffered a severe injury to the head. We aren't sure entirely as of now, but it is highly likely that he has some form of amnesia."

Sam's face went pale. "You mean he won't remember anything?"

"No, we talked to him a little and he seems to remember basic things, his name, etc, but he does not remember where he was or anything recent. So we don't know how severe the amnesia is yet. You can go speak with him now if you would like. But I would recommend not overwhelming him, okay? It would be best to go easy on him for a while."

Sam nodded and the doctor guided us to Dean's room. I looked inside and saw him sitting down talking with a young female nurse. He did not seem any different.

"Oh hey Sam!" he called as soon as he set eyes on us.

"Dean! How are you feeling? You okay?" Sam said as he walked closer to his older brother. The doctor and nurse left and closed the door to give the three of us some privacy.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Head hurts a little and I don't remember anything about whatever case we were on, but other than that I'm fine," Dean said smiling. He was about to say something else when he stopped and looked at me. He must have just noticed I was here.

"Who's that?" he asked Sam. "Is he someone who has to do with the case?"

Sam seemed to freeze, but his reaction was probably not as bad as my own. I stood there completely in shock.

Dean did not remember me.

…..

Sam spoke first, "You mean, you don't remember him? At all?"

"Nope," Dean said.

Sam looked back at me with a sad expression and then turned back to Dean. "What do you remember? Like, what's the very last thing you remember before waking up here?"

Dean thought for a moment. He closed his eyes and thought hard. "I remember that dad died and we gave him a proper hunter's funeral."

Sam's face was pale again. "That was a while ago, Dean."

Dean did not seem to grasp the meaning of what Sam was saying. He did not seem alarmed at all.

"Oh. How many days was I out?"

"This is serious, Dean. There aren't a few days missing from your memory, it's a few years."

Dean stayed silent for a few minutes, but then looked back over at me.

"So he's someone I should know, I guess. Hey you, what's your name?"

I looked over at Sam. I was unsure what to tell Dean and what I needed to hold off on. My name seemed save though.

"Castiel," I said.

"Castiel? That's a strange name. Well okay, nice to meet you, Cas," Dean said with a smile.

I could not help, but to smile too. He may not remember me, but he is still the same Dean that I knew before.

….

It was late now. Sam was on the phone asking if Bobby could pick up their car since they had left it behind and Dean was eating some snacks that we had bought him. We tried to keep the conversation light, but there were some things that Dean insisted we explain for him. Nothing too big though.

"Man, this is so frustrating! I can't believe this happened. This sucks!" Dean said with his mouth full of food.

"Yeah, we heard you the first time," Sam replied.

"I know, it just hasn't sunk in yet I guess. I mean, years, man. All those months are just gone! It's so irritating."

"Yeah, at least you don't have to explain every little thing that happened over the years. Trust me when I tell you that they weren't exactly the best years of either of our lives."

"Whatever."

I sat quietly and just listened to the two of them talk. I was happy they were dealing with this better than I thought, but it was still a serious issue.

"And you," Dean said all of a sudden. I looked up and saw he was pointing at me with a candy bar. "I don't even know anything about you, except for your weird name."

I just looked at him and then looked back down at the floor. I was told not to give Dean any news that he would be startled by and according to Sam this included the fact that I was an angel. I did not want to lie to Dean, but Sam said it would probably be better for him at least at first. I understood this. I knew that if I told him about me being an angel that would lead to more questions and eventually bringing up both the apocalypse and Dean's time in hell would be unavoidable.

"Come on, are you always this quiet? Tell me, how'd I meet a weirdo like you anyway?"

I looked over at Sam, hoping he'd take the wheel, but he just stayed quiet leaving it up to me. Great.

"I saved you from…a bunch of demons."

"Well thanks, I guess. So you are a hunter, huh? How long have you been hunting?"

"My whole existence."

For some reason, Dean found my answer to be funny and started to laugh. "Same here, I guess you could say. Is that why you joined us? Hunting by yourself does get lonely sometimes."

"Yeah."

"Interesting. What about your family? Are they hunters too?"

I paused to think of an answer. "Yes."

"Hmm," Dean stopped to think of another question, "so what's with the suit and trench coat? Were you pretending to be an FBI agent?"

I looked down at my trench coat that I have gotten so used to wearing. "I always wear this."

Sam smiled and chose this moment to join the conversation. "Yeah, he wears that everywhere. He's a strange one." He laughed.

Dean laughed too. "You can say that again."

I tried to smile a little, but I do not know how convincing it was. I was glad Dean was okay, but this situation was not easy to deal with.

I wondered how long we would have to keep this up.

**Okay, well there's the first chapter! I know it's not that good, but I hope you liked it. I'll try to make it better in the future chapters so stay tuned! (: Again, constructive criticism and nice reviews are always awesome! Thank you! (:**


	2. Chapter 2: It's Better This Way

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

I watched as Dean slept in his hospital bed. He was sleeping peacefully, which was rare, but then I remembered why.

He did not remember what gave him those nightmares. He did not remember hell. He did not remember all the horrible things that had happened over the years. He could sleep peacefully again thanks to his accident.

I was happy about that much, but not the rest.

I do not know when, but at some point I had begun to fall for this human. It felt strange and at first I did not understand what I was feeling. But eventually I understood. I was in love with this man.

I never told him, of course. How could I? But there was a part of me that wanted to tell him.

However, now there is no use in telling him. I am just a stranger to him now.

…..

"Hey, Cas," Sam said as he came into the room. "He still sleeping?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Okay. Well I got good news from the doctor. He said that Dean should be ready to leave by tomorrow as long as he's feeling up to it."

"That is good. So they finished with all those tests?"

"Yeah, they said that there really doesn't seem to be any damage done at all. Well, aside from his memory, of course. But physically, he's fine. They said it'd be good for him to stretch his legs and get moving again, but to keep it easy."

"When can we start informing him about what he has forgotten?"

Sam paused. He seemed to be thinking about his answer carefully.

"Look, um…I actually was starting to think that we should not tell him some things or at least maybe not for a while. I mean, look at him. It's been so long since I've seen him actually get a good rest. If we tell him some things, this will probably go away. Well, assuming that he remembers. It's possible that we will tell him, but it doesn't register anything in his mind. But at this point, I don't know what's going to happen. So can we just wait a little longer?"

I nodded. I knew what Sam was saying was true and I, too, wanted Dean to stay happy so maybe it was better this way.

Sam gave me a pat on the shoulder and then went over to sit down with his computer. He has been researching all the time lately. He told me that he wants to learn as much as he can about amnesia and how to deal with it, but I feel as though there is more to it than just that.

"Hey there, Cas," Dean said, just waking up. "How long was I asleep?"

"About four hours," I answered.

"Wow really? Hm. So any news on when I can get back to working?"

I looked over at Sam, but noticed that he was not paying attention at the moment.

"I believe you can leave tomorrow as long as your body is able."

Dean raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Seriously, Cas. Lighten up. You don't need to talk so formally."

I did not say anything.

"Tomorrow sounds great though," Dean continued as he stretched his arms out. "I'm feeling good as new."

…

The next day Dean was feeling well so we decided to leave the hospital. We drove back to Bobby's home without making too many stops. Normally I would not stay in the car with them the whole ride, but because Sam insisted I "act human" I had to ride all the way back.

After we finally arrived, Bobby immediately wanted to talk with Sam. This left me alone with Dean.

"Wow, it's been a while since we've been here for anything other than business. Well that I remember anyway. Have we been staying here a lot for the past few years?" Dean said.

"Yes, you- I mean we, do stay here often," I replied. Dean gave me a quick look and then started to walk around the living area. Dean seemed to be a little suspicious of me. Not as though I was a threat, but more like I was hiding something from him; which, of course, I was.

Dean was about to say something else to me when Sam came into the room.

"Okay, well we need to make a supply run and pick up some food too," Sam said. "Are you up for it?"

"Sure, got nothing better to do anyways," Dean replied.

"Okay. Oh, Cas you don't have to come if you don't want to," Sam said.

"I will come with you," I answered.

"Alright then," Sam said as he clapped his hands together once. "Let's get going then."

I did not really want to spend more time sitting in the car after just getting back, but what I really wanted was to keep an eye on Dean.

We got in the car and Sam insisted on driving once again. Dean argued, but eventually just let his younger brother drive. Thankfully the drive was a short one and we were at our destination in no more than fifteen minutes.

"Okay," Sam said, he seemed to be debating something in his head, "Cas do you think you can find a few items for us? We need a big bag of salt, some more beer, and dental floss. Dean and I will get the rest of the stuff we need."

I nodded and went off to find the things they needed. I had never been shopping before and I am sure that is why Sam seemed so nervous about letting me get stuff on my own. It is not a challenge for me though.

I was searching for the type of beer I had seen them drink many times before when I heard Dean's voice from a couple rows away.

"Sam, I'm not joking, is there something I should know? I mean, I missed a lot, right? When are you going to fill me in? It's friggin' frustrating not knowing! And what about Cas? He's not exactly very social so I still barely know him and he keeps talking like he's hiding something. Is he hiding something from me or both of us or what?"

"Dean, calm down, will you? I told I'll tell you things in time, but can't you just wait for a bit? I mean, you missed a lot of crap that the rest of us can only wish we could forget. So just wait. And as for Cas, he's not hiding anything from us. He's just trying not to mention anything that you wouldn't remember. He's just being cautious, that's all. Now go pick up some bread, I'll go get the batteries."

Dean still looked upset, but he did not seem to want to argue anymore inside a grocery store. So he let it go.

It was times like these when I wished that he could just be happier, especially during a time where he does not have to be tortured by his bad memories and nightmares. Dean's stubborn though and I know that he will eventually have his way and find out everything. I only hope that after being told everything, he does not remember it. As much as I want him to remember me, it is better for him this way.

**Hope you are enjoying the story. (: I'll try to have the next chapter up before the end of the month, but since school started back up, I've been busier. I'll try though. Once again, please post reviews and constructive criticism! Thanks! (:**


	3. Chapter 3: I'm an Angel

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

It's been a few days and Sam still has not mentioned a case. He insists that he has not found anything worth checking into, but I feel like he has not even been looking. He is still worried about Dean and is trying to figure out what to do and what to tell him. I can tell he is very concerned, so I stay quiet.

I figured Sam was still planning on keeping everything that would be considered a "shock" or "important" a secret from his brother for now, so when he asked to talk with me this morning I was honestly surprised by what he told me.

"I think we should fill Dean in a little. What do you think, Cas?" Sam said looking concerned.

"What is "a little"?" I answered.

"Like," he paused, "things that are important, but won't reopen any wounds. Like don't tell him about…well, you know, the story of how you two really met and stuff like that."

"What do you want me to tell him then?"

"Well, I'm thinking about telling him about killing Azazel, but then just leaving out the part where I die and he makes a deal." Sam smiled weakly.

I just nodded. I did not know what I should tell Dean. But I wanted to stop having to lie to him. I wanted to tell him something about me that was true. Maybe if I did, we would be able to repair the bond we had.

...

So here I am, standing in the kitchen figuring out what to tell Dean and how. Dean and I are not close anymore so asking him to talk in private out of the blue would probably make him suspicious. But then again, he was already suspicious of me. Despite what Sam told him, Dean does not seem to trust me. He hides it pretty well, but I can tell. I do not blame him either.

As my thoughts were wandering from my original problem, Dean appeared next to me.

"You with us?" he said as he gave me a confused look.

"I was just thinking."

"Don't try too hard." Dean opened up the refrigerator and pulled out a beer.

Maybe this was a good time.

"Where are Sam and Bobby?"

"Sam's upstairs and I think Bobby's still outside working on something. Why?"

"I just…wanted to talk to you."

"Go ahead."

"Okay. It is something that I have wanted to tell you since you lost your memory."

This got his attention.

"What?"

"I am not a hunter. Not exactly. I do accompany you sometimes, but not for the reasons that you are thinking. I have not been honest with you, Dean. Sam told me not to tell you anything that may shock you for a while, so I had to keep things from you. I am sorry."

Dean just looked at me. He seemed to have too many questions in his head to put into words.

"Okay. Well fine, then start explaining who you really are."

"I am an angel of the Lord."

Dean looked at me in disbelief for a few seconds and then just laughed it off.

"An angel? You're kidding me. I never took you for the joking type, Cas," Dean said.

I looked into his eyes. I wanted him to believe me.

There was silence.

"You're…kidding. Angels don't exist, Cas," Dean said.

"They do, Dean. You are standing in front of one."

Dean did not say anything.

….

I guess I was hoping that it would just come back to him. As soon as I told him the truth, he would just remember. This did not happen though.

I stood there silently.

"If angels do exist, then why didn't they save my mother? Or my dad? Or anyone!"

"I saved you."

"Sure, saved me from what? I don't even know if I can trust anything that comes out of your mouth."

"I am being honest now, Dean. Check your shoulder. I am sure you noticed the handprint."

"You aren't going to tell me that was you-"

"It was."

Dean seemed to start to believe me, but he was still upset with me.

"Why would you save me of all people? And why couldn't you just tell me you were an angel from the start instead of making up that story about being a hunter?"

"Think of how you are reacting now. And it was your brother's idea, not mine, though I have to agree with his intentions. I do want you to be happy, Dean."

"You want me to be happy? You're talking like you're my brother. I barely know you. We aren't family-"

"You are like my family. You may not feel the same way now, but I still do. Even if you do not care for me anymore, I still feel the same way about you as I did before. That will not change, Dean."

" So what, were we like a couple before or something?" Dean said.

"No, but…"

"But…?"

"You were my friend, no, we were friends. You did not seem to like me at first, but as time went on, we became…close."

Dean was quiet again. He seemed to be searching through his thoughts. I guess at this point, I began hoping again; that it would come back to him.

"I don't remember you. At all, like I never met you. But for some reason, I feel like I can believe you. I don't know why, it's weird, but it's like I know that you are telling the truth."

I smiled. His memory did not return, but things might just turn out okay despite that.

"I don't know how I became friends with someone like you, but I guess I should be used to weird things by now," Dean said laughing a little as he took a sip of his beer for the first time since I began the conversation.

Maybe Dean and I could become what we were before. Maybe this would work.

Then, not a second later, a bottle shattered into pieces as Dean collapsed onto the floor.

**I hope you liked the chapter. (: I'll try to have the next chapter up soon, but this week is going to be very busy so it might take a little bit longer than usual. Sorry about that. Oh, and please post nice reviews and/or constructive criticism. Thank you! (:**


	4. Chapter 4: Decisions to be Made

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

Dean fell to floor and began to groan as he pressed his hand against his forehead.

"Dean!" I shouted. I immediately went to his side and put my hand on his shoulder. I did not know what was wrong nor did I know how to help. But it was Dean so I had to do something.

"What are you feeling, Dean?" I asked softly.

Dean just mumbled something as he tried to sit up again. I did not shift my attention from him for even a second. I waited until he was sitting upright again before asking any more questions.

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Dean replied. He sounded almost like he was out of breath. "I just got this intense…pain in my head. It was quick though, like it was just passing by or something. It came and left in a few seconds flat, but…"

"What?"

"But, there was something else. This, this image, or images really. They just flashed through my head."

"Do you think they were your memories? Do you remember anything?"

"I don't remember anything new, I just saw them. I mean, if they even were my memories. It's not like I would know. But considering that they were images of me and Sammy, I would bet my money that they were."

"What were the images of?" This was important for me to know. I did not want Dean to remember certain things if I could avoid it.

"Just the two of us on hunts as far as I could tell. Nothing out of the ordinary. Why?"

"Just wanted to know."

"What? Is there something in particular you don't want me to know?"

I did not answer him. I hated lying to Dean.

"We should let Sam and Bobby know," I finally said.

"Yeah, sure," Dean said, slightly annoyed that I did not give him an answer.

…..

"But you don't remember anything?" Sam said after Dean told him and Bobby about the events that had just occurred.

"Nope. Not a thing," Dean replied. He seemed not to care about this issue.

"And you don't find that strange at all?" Bobby asked.

"Of course, it's weird. But in case you forgot, our whole lives are made up of weird. So I'm not going to get all worked up over this."

"I thought you wanted your memories back," Sam interjected.

"Sure I wouldn't mind them, but I don't need them."

"Don't need them? What are you saying?" Bobby was surprised by what Dean was saying. Sam was too. Even I was a little surprised.

This conversation quickly turned into an argument. I stayed out of the way though. It was not my argument to get involved in. Though I did hope to talk to Dean more later.

…..

"I can't believe Dean. First, he wants to know everything that happened and now he just doesn't care? He needs to choose already," Sam said as he buried his face in his hands.

We were alone in the room now.

"I thought you would be glad," I said after a few minutes.

"What?"

"I thought you would be glad that he does not want to know. So now you will not have to tell him about the things you were hiding from him."

Sam sighed. "I would be, but I can't just keep it from him forever, you know? He's either going to find out on his own or be told eventually. Though you're right, I would rather him not know."

I felt bad for Sam. He always seemed to carry so much on his shoulders. Of course, so did the rest of us.

"So what do you plan on doing?" I asked after giving him some more time to work things out in his head.

"I have no idea. Any suggestions?" He looked up at me with a weak smile.

I had planned on leaving these decisions up to Sam. Sam was his brother after all and he was closer to Dean than I was. But I decided that helping him make a decision would be okay.

"I would let him know." Though I wish we did not have to.

"You just want to tell him? Flat out?"

"Yes." Though I wish we could wait.

"Should we tell him everything? Even his time in the pit?"

"It would probably be best." I am sorry, Dean.

Sam sighed a heavy sigh, "You're probably right."

I was quiet.

"But hey, if he doesn't remember it won't be that bad, right? He'll just have the story, not the memory," Sam said as he suddenly remembered about that detail.

"Yeah, that could be true." Although for some reason, I am worried that will not be the case.

"Yeah, maybe it won't be so bad after all."

I admired Sam's optimism. And I hoped he was right.

"I'll let Bobby know. He should be included in this too."

Sam then left to go talk to Bobby and I was left alone in the room.

I thought about many things. I wondered about what was happening and what was going to happen to Dean. I just wanted him to be okay. I did not even think about our relationship or about my feelings for him. I just simply wanted him to be okay. That was all I needed.

…..

"Okay, well Dean went out to get some more beer. Or that's what he said at least. He probably just wanted to go for a drive. He got pretty pissed at me earlier," Sam laughed a little. "But it's been over an hour already so he should be back soon."

Bobby nodded and took a seat at his desk. He looked calm, but his silence must mean that he is thinking really hard about the issue at hand. Sam was pretty quiet, too. The room stayed quiet and uncomfortable for another fifteen minutes before we heard the sounds of a car outside.

"Took him long enough," Bobby said as he took a sip of his drink.

The noise seemed to bring Sam back to the world as he suddenly stood up from his chair and looked over to where Dean would be coming inside. He looked nervous.

After about five minutes of waiting, Sam spoke up. "What's taking him so long?"

Bobby just rolled his eyes and Sam sat back down. I had to check on him though. I quickly left the room and appeared outside where he usually parks his impala. There I found Dean leaning against his car for support as he pressed his hand against his head.

"Are you okay?" I asked. I began to wonder just how often he was getting these images in his head.

"Cas…"

I stepped closer and looked at him. I could tell by his voice that this was different than the one earlier today.

"Cas… I need you to be honest with me here. Did... I go to hell?"

I hated lying to Dean. So this time, I told him the truth.

"Yes."

**Sorry this one took a little longer to finish. I had a big project due so I spend most of my time working on that. I hope you liked it though. (: Again, constructive criticism and nice reviews are awesome. Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5: The Truth

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

**(*I just wanted to give a quick thank you to all those who have posted nice reviews and messages. They are very sweet and make me smile. I appreciate all of them and all of you who are reading my story. (: -hugs-)**

Dean was quiet. I could only imagine what thoughts were filling his mind right about now. I wondered if I was making the right decision. I wondered if I should have lied to him again. Or maybe I should not have lied from the start. Would that have made things better or worse? I do not know.

"How did- why did you not tell me this sooner?" Dean said suddenly raising his voice.

I wish I had a good answer for him.

"Sam said that we should wait," I said.

Dean took a deep breath and was quiet again.

"How much do you know?" he finally said, breaking the silence.

"Enough."

"Do you know how I got out?"

I smiled a little bit and told him, "Yes, I brought you out."

Dean looked at me. He looked into my eyes for the first time since he got amnesia. He looked like he wanted to ask something else, but did not know what to say. Or maybe he was trying to remember me. I do not know. But what I said made an impact on him, I do know that.

However, before either of us could say anything else, the moment was gone.

"Dean, what's the hold-up?" Sam said as he came out of the house. "Bobby and I were waiting for you, you know."

Sam looked at me and then back at Dean.

"Did something happen?" he asked.

Before I could say anything about what Dean saw or what I told him, Dean spoke up.

"I'll tell you later, I'm starving," he said as he began to walk towards the door.

"You saw those images again didn't you?" Sam asked. He was always able to read Dean.

"Look, Sam, I don't want to have an argument again. I said I'll talk to you about it later. Just leave it," Dean said.

Sam looked at me and I nodded. I knew that Dean did not want to discuss this with Sam and Bobby just yet. He probably wanted to wait until it really "sunk in", as he would say. Sam understood and walked back in the house. Dean and I followed soon after.

…

Sam and Dean were going through the kitchen looking for any food they could have and Bobby was talking on the phone with someone, though I do not know who. I watched as Sam found some soup cans in one of the cupboards and held them up for Dean to see. Dean shrugged and closed the fridge after not finding anything better to have. Sam started getting out the things he needed to make soup while Dean sat back in a chair and sipped his beer.

I was glad they were not fighting again.

"Bobby you need to get some more good food around here," Dean said.

"Well I'm sorry, your highness," Bobby said, giving Dean a look.

Sam was busy making the soup, but I could tell he was amused.

Once the meal was ready, Dean and Bobby both got up to get something to eat. I was about the leave the room when Dean noticed me.

"You want some soup or not?" Dean asked. I was caught a little off guard by this to be honest.

"Oh, Cas doesn't eat, Dean. I guess he didn't mention that," Sam said, taking a seat with his dinner.

"You don't eat? Dude, what's wrong with you?" Dean said. Bobby and Sam seemed to both roll their eyes at this. I was happy though. Because Dean was acting like usual, despite what happened earlier.

"You can just ignore him, Cas," Sam said, smiling now.

"Just because you don't eat, doesn't mean you can't eat, right?" Dean asked.

"Well, it is physically possible for me to consume food," I replied.

"Then why don't you?"

"I just do not need to."

"You're so weird," Dean laughed as he ate his soup.

….

It was kind of strange staying at Bobby's house for a long period of time, especially since I was not needed for anything at the moment. I just wanted to watch over Dean. Nobody said anything about me staying though, so I guess they did not mind.

It was getting late and Dean still had not brought up what happened earlier. I knew that Sam wanted to know, but he was understanding enough to let Dean be the one to start that conversation.

I was quietly sitting in the study with everyone when Dean suddenly stood up.

"Hey, Cas, I just remembered I think I left something in the Impala. Come out and help me find it," Dean said as he pat my shoulder. I nodded and appeared out by the car.

After a minute, Dean was outside too. He gave me a look as he walked towards me and the car. I stared at him, not understanding why he seemed annoyed.

"Lazy."

"So what did you leave in here?" I asked, ignoring his remark.

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you," Dean said, leaning against his car.

"What is it?" I asked, surprised. I knew that if he did not even want Sam and Bobby to know, then it must be important.

"I want to know more about, well, you know. We were interrupted before,"

"What did you want to ask?"

"I want to know why I was there in the first place and why you brought me out."

I was hesitant for a moment, but decided that it was for the best and that Dean deserved to know the truth about what happened.

I took a deep breath. "You made a deal with a crossroads demon. The deal was your soul for your brother's life. You understood what would happen, but you made the deal anyway. You made the deal because you could not live without Sam. It was foolish, in a way, but it was a sacrifice that was honorable at the same time."

Dean was quiet and just listened. He was trying to take in all that he could. I could tell this was not easy for him, not that I would expect it to be.

"And then I pulled you out." I smiled at the memory, "Though at first, you did not seem to like me very much, stabbed me with a knife actually."

Dean smiled a little at this.

"Why though?" he asked.

"What?"

"Why save me? Why did I deserve to be saved over everyone else?"

"You've asked me this before," I said, smiling again. "We had a job for you, I guess you could say." I did not want to get too into the information about the apocalypse so I decided to leave it at that. I knew that we could not keep that from Dean for too much longer though.

"So you saved me on orders?"

"Yes," I answered, "though I am not staying with you now on orders. In fact…" I stopped.

Dean looked at me. "What?"

"In fact, just the opposite I guess. I went against my orders for you."

"Really? For us?" He seemed surprised. I was a little disappointed that Dean would change the wording to "us", but I tried to ignore it.

"Yes," I said. But I did it mostly for Dean.

"You know, you kind of a cool guy, Cas," Dean said as he patted my shoulder.

I smiled. I was happy that we were becoming more like the way we used to be. I do not know if we will ever be the same way we were before, but being close again was good enough for me. I loved Dean after all.

"Thank you," I said.

We enjoyed a brief silence, but then a voice began to speak in my head. It was one of my brothers speaking to me. I listened and then froze as he told me what he knew. I guess Dean must have noticed me tense up because he asked me what was wrong. I did not answer him, but I told him that I had to leave. And so I flew to where the angel was waiting for me.

**Yay! Hope you liked the chapter! (: As always, nice reviews and constructive criticism are awesome! Thanks! (: **


	6. Chapter 6: Reasons and Choices

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

I appeared to where I was called from. It was an empty warehouse building that had probably been out of use for a few years now.

"I'm glad you could make it."

"Zachariah, you said it was something important regarding Dean's condition. What is it?"

"Yes. It's just that I want you to know that you shouldn't tell him too much. If you want to do what's best for him."

"Why is that?" I asked, confused.

"Because the more he knows, the harder it is going to be for him later."

"Later? Zachariah I do not know-"

"Of course, you don't know what that means, Castiel. I wouldn't expect you to. Honestly, you aren't the brightest though. Have you not considered the possibility that this whole amnesia problem you've been dealing with was done on purpose. That maybe this accident was actually planned by someone?"

"I have. However, I do not know who would do this nor do I know why someone would want Dean's memory to be damaged."

"Castiel, over the past year Dean has met quite a few angels, hasn't he? Out of those angel's he's met, how many of them do you think he actually likes? How many do you think he would actually listen to? I mean honestly, he doesn't even listen to you most of the time. He probably doesn't care much for you either."

I tried not to think too hard about that possibility and focus more on the issue at hand. Zachariah was pretty much confessing to being the one to do this, but I still need more information from him.

"So by erasing those memories you think Dean will trust you?"

"Not immediately I would assume, but in time. It'll be much easier to convince him when he's like this after all."

"What is it that you need to convince him? What do you want him to do?"

"Why, start the apocalypse, of course."

I stopped. I was not sure what he meant for Dean to do for this plan, but it probably was not good for him. I needed to tell Dean. If he just needs to say no then that should not be too difficult, right? But then again, Dean does not always listen. I had to try though.

"What exactly do you need for him to do? What are you using him for?"

"He's a vessel; Michael's vessel. And I know what you are thinking, Castiel. That you can just tell Dean to say no to me? I wouldn't bother. In fact, it'd be better for you if you didn't."

"Why?"

"Just don't say anything and you won't have to worry about that."

I was silent.

"I'm kind of disappointed to be honest though. You've developed too close of a relationship with this kid, it's not healthy for you, Castiel."

And with that, he smiled and left. To be honest, I was not sure if I should go back to Bobby's house or not. At least not right away. I left without much warning so I know they will ask about it and I was not sure what I should tell them. If Dean is going to be used to start the apocalypse, then what will happen to him? It is possible that he would not be spared. So I guess I already know what I have to do. I have to look out for Dean. I have to make sure he does not say yes.

….

"Cas! Hey Sam! Bobby! Cas came back," Dean shouted as I flew back into the room. "Where'd you disappear to?"

Before I could privately tell Dean anything, Sam and Bobby ran into the room.

"What's up, Cas?" Sam asked. He looked nervous. He was probably thinking it was news about Dean.

"I…um…" I had trouble figuring out where to start. The three pairs of eyes staring at me with anticipation did not help much either. "I found out something about Dean's accident."

Their eyes all lit up at once and I began to tell the story.

….

After I began telling the three of them how Zachariah erased Dean's memory in order to make him willingly say yes to being a vessel, Dean interrupted.

"So this guy, he erased my memory just so I'd listen to him? You've gotta' be kidding me!" Dean shouted.

"Calm down, Dean. At least he has a reason for it. And hey, at least it wasn't an accident," Sam said.

"And why is that a good thing?" Dean growled.

"Because that would mean that it's reversible, right Cas?" Sam asked, turning towards me.

"Yes, though not any angel can reverse it. He should be able to though. It's just the matter of convincing him to do so," I replied.

"Well if you say yes to the guy, I'm sure he would," said Bobby, "but otherwise, I doubt it."

"Well if I do say yes, what'll happen? Cas?"

"I do not know." And that was the truth. I did not know exactly what would happen though I could make some guesses. "I can tell you that it will not be good though. I do not know the affects of someone being used as a vessel for such a cause."

"Wait, what's the cause?" Sam asked.

"To start the apocalypse." I probably should not have said that so bluntly because it caught them by surprise.

"The apocalypse? Are you serious?" Dean exclaimed.

"Why does he need Dean? What's he going to make him do?" Sam asked.

"Why does this guy want to start the apocalypse anyway?" Bobby asked calmly.

I was being overwhelmed with so many questions I was not sure which to answer first. I took a deep breath and tried to talk in a way that would calm them a bit.

"I do not know everything about this. I only know what he told me. I know that Dean is needed to start the apocalypse, but it is his choice," I explained.

The room was quiet. They were all deep in thought. I looked at Dean. Hopefully he will be alright. I do not know how much longer I can protect him after all. Zachariah did not mention what would happen after I told Dean the truth and to say no to him, but I know that it is likely to be serious punishment. A punishment I am willing to take for the sake of Dean.

….

I left after our conversation had ended. After I explained all that I had found out, Sam and Bobby confessed to Dean about how they were keeping what they already knew about the apocalypse a secret. They left out a few details, but got the point across. I guess they did not want him to have to take in all the information at once. Dean already had found out so much today, they probably wanted to give him as few details as they could.

"I'm not going to say yes, Cas," Dean said as he joined me outside.

I originally wanted to spend some time alone with my thoughts, but I did not mind when Dean decided to join me.

"I know," I answered. And then the silence returned for a moment.

"What did you mean by becoming a vessel though?"

"Your body would be used by Michael. An angel cannot interact in the same way as, for example, how I am interacting with you unless they have a human body."

"Wait, so you are basically possessing people?"

"In a sense, yes, but we ask for their permission first."

"So the body you are in right now-"

"Yes, his name is Jimmy Novak."

"And here I thought you actually looked like that," Dean laughed.

This was not the reaction I expected from Dean considering how he reacted the first time I told him this information, but I guess it must just be the timing.

We enjoyed a calm silence for the next few minutes. I was glad that Dean was taking all of this better than I had imagined he would. He must have so many questions though.

"Hey Cas," Dean asked softly. I turned my head and looked at him. "Something has been bothering me."

"What is it, Dean?" I answered.

"Why would this Zachariah guy tell you what he was planning in the first place? I mean, now isn't all his work for nothing because I know not to listen to him? Why would he make it easy for us? You don't think he was lying or something, do you?"

"No, I do not think he was lying. He just told me not to tell you," I said.

"I don't get why he would bother though. Seems kind of stupid of him," Dean said.

"Well he originally wanted me to make it easier for him, I think, but then went into explaining the whole ordeal. He did threaten me though so it is not like he does not care if I tell you. He definitely did not want me to."

"He threatened you? What is he going to do?"

"I do not know. He just said that I would be punished for disobeying him."

"Yet you come right over and tell us, you really aren't the brightest, Cas," Dean laughed, "but I guess that's why you fit in around here."

I smiled. Hearing Dean say this made the thought of having to leave more difficult.

"Yeah. You are probably right."

**Hope you liked the chapter! As always, please post nice reviews and constructive criticism! Thanks! (:**


	7. Chapter 7: Something Missing

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

Pitch black. That was all I could see. I could not move either. It is a strange feeling not knowing where you are or how you even got there. Then suddenly, I heard a voice, a familiar voice; Dean's.

"It's been almost two days now, Sam."

"I know, but this is all we can do for now. It's not like we have any leads on what happened or anything," I heard Sam reply.

I tried moving my arm, but it did not move easily. A sharp pain came with even a small movement. Then I tried to open my eyes.

The moment my eyes opened, I saw Dean run towards me with Sam close behind.

"Cas! You're awake!" he exclaimed.

"We were getting really worried about you!" Sam said, "How are you feeling?"

I was not sure how to answer that question. It was strange. I felt very stiff and many parts of my vessel ached in pain. It felt as though I had been wounded in a battle that I do not remember fighting.

"Pain," was all I was able to voice.

"Where? Where is the pain, Cas?" Dean asked quickly, "Sam get him some water or something."

Sam quickly left out the door. I noticed for the first time that I was in an unfamiliar room.

"Dean, where am I?" I asked.

"You're in Bobby's spare bedroom. It's mostly used for storage and stuff now, but it still has a nice bed so it seemed to be the best place to put you. But that's not important right now. We just need you feeling back to normal, okay?"

Dean seemed really concerned about me. It was nice to be cared for, but I felt guilty for making him worry so much.

"What happened?" I asked after a brief silence.

"We'll tell you the story later, Cas. Like I said, let's get you better first."

Just then Sam came back with a bucket with a towel in it and a glass of water.

"Here," he said as he handed me the glass. "I don't know exactly if it'll help much, but try it."

"Thanks, Sam." I said with a small smile. As I drank the cool water, Dean wet the towel.

"You didn't answer me before, Cas. Where is the pain?" Dean asked.

"It is my head mostly. But my body is aching too. I do not understand why though." I wanted an explanation, but I know that I should listen to Dean and just accept the care for now.

Dean placed the towel on my forehead and it quickly began soothing the pain in my head. Although unlikely to do the job completely, it was a very therapeutic feeling.

For some reason, I wanted to close my eyes again. My eyelids were becoming heavy even though I had just woken up. I did not understand why I felt this way.

…

"Just let him sleep, Dean. He's probably exhausted. Who knows what the pain he's feeling is like. You don't really know this as well, but angels take a lot more than we do. If Cas says it hurts, then it's bad. So just let him sleep it off a bit."

"I thought Cas didn't sleep, Sam."

"That's what I thought too."

…..

This time I opened my eyes much easier. I was even able to sit up. When I woke up though, the room was not how it had been before. It was empty, or at least I thought it was. It was then that I noticed Dean sleeping in a chair beside my bed. I looked at him and smiled. I was glad to see him sleeping peacefully.

I tried to get out of bed, but it was more difficult than I thought. I could move better than when I had woken up before, but it was hard to stand up. I had to hold on to the bed for support. Walking was a whole new challenge. I made it halfway across the room before I fell. The pain of falling on my sore knees was worse than I expected. I sat on the floor for a moment and then tried to stand back up.

"What are you doing?" Dean said all of a sudden, surprising me. I guess the sound of my fall woke him up.

"I am just trying to get myself back to normal. I am not used to having trouble moving like this."

"Well I'll tell you now that if you are sore, then you need to rest for a bit. I know it's frustrating, but too bad," Dean said as he helped me stand up. Then he helped me back to my bed and sat me down.

"Thanks." I said. I was embarrassed to be honest. I should be much stronger than this.

"No problem. Now stay in bed, you hear me?"

"Okay, I will."

"Good," he looked at the clock on the table beside my bed, "well it's almost five in the morning so if you want to go back to sleep you can or just stay awake. It doesn't matter to me." Dean sat back down in the chair next to my bed.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I don't know. I mean, it's kind of early for breakfast,"

"You should sleep some more, Dean."

Dean was going to object, but then just nodded and within twenty minutes fell asleep again. I did not go back to sleep though. I had slept enough. Actually, the fact that I had slept at all concerned me. Meanwhile, I was fine just lying in bed. My legs still hurt a bit, but they were feeling a little better now. Either that or I just did not notice because I was so distracted. I really wanted to know what had happened to me. I do not know how much Sam, Dean and Bobby know, but any information is better than nothing. I just want to find out what is wrong with me so I can go back to helping Dean. I just needed to watch over him.

I looked over at Dean who was sleeping peacefully once again and I wondered how much time he had spent watching over me these last few days; too much, probably. Which is why he really deserves a nice, long rest now.

…

A few hours later, Sam came in the room. He smiled as he saw that I was awake and sitting up and then nudged Dean awake. We all went downstairs, me with the help of Dean, and met up with Bobby who was sitting at his desk.

"Glad to see that one vertical again," he said as he took a sip from his glass.

Dean sat me down in a chair in the kitchen and Sam began to get some food out for breakfast.

"Hey Cas, do you think you might want to try eating something? I mean, it might help you get your strength back more quickly," Sam suggested.

I considered his idea. I was not sure if I should try to eat food because it was new to me, but I decided to see what happens. Sam offered me something called toast and gave me a glass of water to have with it. I tried it and it really was not bad. It felt weird eating, but my body accepted the food and I felt a little better after having something.

"So you like it?" Sam asked. He seemed to be happy after he saw me take a second bite.

"It tastes good," I admitted. As happy as I was that I got to try something new and liked it, I was troubled.

"Well good," Dean said as he pat my back and walked towards the fridge to get something for himself.

After we all finished eating, I decided to ask the question that they all knew I was holding back.

"So what happened to me?" I asked. Sam sighed and started to tell the story.

"Well three days ago we were just talking about ideas we had to get through all of this business with the angel Zachariah. Then Dean saw some more images and I had to explain what he needed to know. While I was busy explaining things to Dean, all of a sudden you just fell to the ground. We rushed over to your side and tried to ask you what was wrong, but you didn't say anything. You just collapsed on the floor and blacked out. Then we took you upstairs and waited for you to wake up."

I was silent. I did not remember any of these events prior to when I blacked out nor did I remember actually blacking out. It was all strange to me.

"Do you have any idea of what could have happened?" Dean asked.

I did not answer.

"Do you feel any different now, other than being sore?" Bobby added.

I was hoping that what I was thinking was not what had happened, but I had to be honest with myself and consider the facts. Also, I had to tell everybody. Even if I find out I am mistaken, I should at least let them know what I am thinking. They are my friends after all.

"I think…" I paused. "I think Zachariah took away something very important to me as my punishment."

Dean knew what I meant by "my punishment" and looked worried, but Sam and Bobby just exchanged looks.

"I do not think I am an angel anymore."

**I hoped you liked the chapter! Sorry it was later than usual, but I just graduated on Friday and I've been pretty busy haha. As always, please post nice reviews and constructive criticism. Thanks! (:**


	8. Chapter 8: Heartbeat

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

The room was quiet. No one knew what to say. However, after a couple minutes, Dean spoke up.

"Not an angel anymore? Is that even possible?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes," I answered.

"So does this mean that Zachariah took your grace?" Sam asked.

"Somehow, yes. Zachariah has much more power than I do… well than I had."

And then it was quiet again. I probably made it too obvious that this turn of events upset me. Although really, I should be relieved that it was not worse. This way I can still be with Dean and my other friends, even if I can no longer do much to help them.

"So what do we do now?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. I guess we just have to work around this," Sam said.

….

We discussed ideas some more and I tried to help out as much as I could. I really did not like how I felt though. I did not like how I felt useless and unable to assist the people who I hold most dear. I had to work past it though. If I let these feelings get in the way, then I would be even more useless to the team.

A couple times during the discussion, Sam tried to convince me to rest some more, but I refused. I was not in so much pain anymore, so I did not let that get in the way.

I had to help. I had to.

"What do you think about that, Cas?" Dean asked. This question brought me back to the conversation after I had gotten lost in my thoughts.

"What? I'm sorry. I got lost," I admitted.

"Got lost?" Dean repeated with confusion. "Cas, you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, Dean. I said earlier that I was fine."

"Right," Dean said, not believing me. "Hey, Sam, Bobby, you mind if I talk with Cas for a bit?"

They did not object so Dean signaled for me to follow him outside. I followed him, unsure of what exactly he was going to say to me. We walked for a while, farther than where Dean had parked his Impala and into the jungle of cars that sat outside Bobby's place. Dean finally stopped in between two cars and leaned back against the front door of one of them.

"So talk to me," he said.

"I do not understand-"

"You're upset, I can see that. So why are you pretending you are okay? And why are you still just as willing to help us when you've already lost so much?"

"It is because you are my friends. I was prepared to lose much more than I did. I should be rather glad…"

"But you're not," Dean stated. I did not respond. "Cas, it's alright to be upset about this. You deserve to be. It's our fault that this happened to you, not you-"

"No, Dean! It was not your fault. It was my choice. I do not regret it though. As upset as I am, I would not change my decision. I was able to help you because of it. I just wish I could still help you."

Dean sighed. "Is that what this is really about? You think you can't help us anymore just because you lost your angel mojo? News flash, Cas, the rest of us are human. So you lost your power, that doesn't mean you can't help us anymore! In fact, you are still the biggest help we got. You know more about angels and all this apocalypse business than any of us. Not only that, but I'm sure you can work a weapon if we need you out in the field. Come on, Cas. Did you really think we'd just abandon you because you're out of juice? Family doesn't end with blood."

I did not know what to say. Dean was able to dispel all the bad feelings and thoughts that I had. He was able to reassure me with a little speech. This was one of those things that I loved about Dean.

"Dean, I…" I stopped. "Thank you."

Dean smiled, "No problem. I just hate seeing you like that."

I smiled back. At this moment, I really wanted to tell Dean how I felt about him. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. But I did not want to ruin this wonderful moment that was given to me. He had just gone out of his way to make me feel better and I would probably just make him feel worse. After all, I knew that he did not love me back.

…

We returned to the house and I decided to take Sam's advice and lay down for a while. I really did not need to, but I thought it would be best. I guess I just wanted to take in what had happened and figure out some things on my own for a while. So Dean brought me back up in the spare bedroom, closed the door and then went downstairs. I do not know if they were continuing the previous conversation or if they, too, were taking a break, but if I had to guess I would think they went back to planning. With the size of the issue at hand, they took very few breaks.

The room upstairs was very quiet. I could not hear any noise coming from downstairs. I felt alone. My friends were just a short walk away, yet they seemed so much farther away than that. I was not lonely though. Being alone and being lonely are two very different things. And I was quite used to being by myself after all.

When I was far apart from everyone, I realized something though. I realized that I really should not have been upset about becoming more human. It was selfish in a way. I was ready to accept dying to help my precious friends, yet when the punishment of this came along, I was so frustrated. I really should have just been thankful that I got to see everyone again though. And I am thankful for that. I really am.

It was at this moment, that I decided that I should talk to Dean, Sam and Bobby. I wanted to tell them that I am okay with being human if that means I get to stay with them a little longer and that I will try to help them how I can. I was smiling as I got myself up from the bed. I was happy that I was able to really figure this out for myself. It was all thanks to Dean though.

I opened the door and started to walk downstairs when something struck me as strange. I was now much closer to the room that the three of them had been talking before, yet I still heard no sound. I walked downstairs at a much faster rate and then found out the reason for the silence.

I saw Zachariah standing in room with two other angels. The two angels were holding back Sam and Bobby; spears to their throats. Dean was standing in front of Zachariah, holding only a handgun, which he probably found out has no effect on angels. As soon as I walked into the room, all eyes turned to me.

"Oh and here he is now," Zachariah said.

"Cas, leave now. We can handle this," Dean lied.

"We were just talking about you," Zachariah continued. "How do you like your current state? Pathetic, isn't it?"

I did not answer him. "Let them go, Zachariah," I said instead.

"You don't scare me, Castiel. You never have and you especially don't in that form."

I looked over at Dean. He looked at me with a very sad expression.

"Just to make things clear for you," Zachariah said, "let me show you what I mean."

It was quiet for a second and then the next second I let out a scream. I experienced this intense pain in my chest. My heart began to beat at a rapid pace and then I suddenly could not breathe very well.

"Stop! Stop it now, damn you!" Dean shouted at Zachariah.

Zachariah ignored him. "You see what I can do, Castiel? I can break you as easily as any human."

After he said that, it hit me that there was much more to his choice in punishment than I had originally thought. I was just afraid of how much more.

"So are you convinced yet, Dean? I think it's about time you get off that high horse and really think about your answer," Zachariah said.

Dean looked at Sam, Bobby and then at me. He looked very torn. I did not know the exact details of Zachariah's question, but I can put the pieces together for the most part.

"Dean! Don't you dare!" Sam shouted, trying to shove the angel off his back.

"Dean, think about this," Bobby said immediately after.

I just looked at him. I could feel some blood running down my lip as I tried to speak, but no sound escaped from them. I just slowly shook my head from side to side. I knew the decision Dean was considering and I could not let him say yes.

But before I could hear his answer, I felt my body hit the cold floor as everything faded out to black.

**I hope you liked the chapter. As always, please post nice reviews and constructive criticism! Thanks! (:**


	9. Chapter 9: For Someone Else

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

***Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.**

I woke up back in the upstairs room that was now very familiar to me. I tried to sit up and to my surprise, it came easily. My body was not very sore at all, especially compared to how I last remembered it. I needed to know what happened.

There was no one in my room so I quickly got on my feet and opened the door to go downstairs. Right outside the door, to my surprise, was Dean.

"Oh, Cas," he said, surprised, "I was just about to check on you. How are you feeling?"

"I am fine, Dean. But that is why I am worried. Tell me what you said to Zachariah," I demanded.

"I got him to heal you up. I don't know what he was doing to you, but you probably wouldn't have lasted very long if I didn't butt in," he said, with a small smile. He noticed that I still looked concerned and put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Cas, I didn't say yes to him. You really think I would? No, I just made an arrangement, I guess you could say."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I got him to give me five days to "think it over"."

"And he actually gave it to you and he healed me as well? That does not sound like Zachariah."

"Well, I may have made a threat or two, but it got the job done."

I did not know how he managed to convince the Zachariah I know to do that, but I figured it was for the best. After all, if anyone could convince him to do something, it would be Dean Winchester.

….

We went downstairs to join the other two and sat down in Bobby's study. Sam smiled when he saw me and I gave him a little smile in return, but I was mostly distracted. There were so many issues to work out and not very much time. I was beginning to doubt we would be able to do this.

"Okay, so did Dean sum up what's going on to you, Cas?" Sam asked, suddenly.

I nodded. "Unless there is anything else," I said, looking towards Dean.

Dean shrugged, "I think I summarized it up pretty well."

"Well then, time to start brainstorming unless any of you idjits got something?" Bobby said.

The room's silence answered that question and after a moment or two, Bobby got up and grabbed a small notebook.

"What's that?" Sam asked.

Bobby held it up in the air, "This is about all we know about dealing with angels and the thing's not even halfway filled up. So in other words, we pretty much know squat."

After Bobby finished talking, all three pairs of eyes turned towards me.

"Wanna help us out here, angel boy?" Bobby asked, notebook falling back onto the cluttered desk.

"I will help however I can," I replied.

My answer got a small nod out of Bobby, and a smile from Sam, but Dean did not react. He just stood there, leaning against a wall.

Perhaps there is something else that no one is telling me.

….

I never really say much in discussions. I give my input when I feel it is needed, but I do not speak my mind. When I think about it though, I do not really speak much to anyone in general; except Dean. I am much more comfortable around Dean than anyone else.

But today, I felt as though all I had done is talk. I explained many things about angels to the best of my abilities, I talked about what I knew and what I was unsure of, and I answered any questions I could.

As soon as the questions slowed down and I got a break from talking, I sat down and closed my eyes. As tempting as a break was, I knew I had to make sure I was not forgetting any valuable information that may be of assistance.

A touch on my shoulder surprised me. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Dean.

"Wha-" I began, but I was quickly cut off.

"Come with me," he said. I quietly got up and followed.

I expected him to take me outside like he usually does when he wants to talk alone, but instead he took me upstairs to the bedroom I was currently using.

He closed the door and then sat down in the chair by my bedside.

"What is it, Dean?" I asked.

"You know something's up, don't you?"

I was silent. It's true that I was thinking something was wrong, but I really did not know.

"I feel like there is something you guys are not telling me; something I should know."

"Well you're mostly right," Dean sighed. "When Zachariah came yesterday, he didn't actually give me time to "think it over", he just gave me time."

"What do you mean by time, Dean?" I was nervous now.

"I said "yes", Cas."

At that moment, a strange combination of emotions overwhelmed me. I was upset and wanted to say something that would be comforting to Dean, but at the same time, I just wanted to punch him.

"So that's why I was healed," was all I could say.

"But listen to me, Cas. Sammy and Bobby don't know. They were both made conscious by Zachariah while we talked."

"Why aren't you telling them?"

"Because it's my problem, Cas, not theirs."

"So you are going to make them spend days working on this issue when you know it won't mean anything?"

"No, I'm planning on trying whatever it is we come up with," Dean paused, "but if it doesn't work, then…"

"Then you figure something else out." I finished for him.

Dean looked up at me, surprised by what I said. "What?"

"If something does not work, then you figure out something that will. That's how Dean Winchester does things."

Dean was speechless for a minute and then started to laugh. Laugher filled the small, quiet room and I started to wonder if the laughing was a good response or not. It certainly was not the one I was expecting.

"Wow, Cas. I never thought you were the type to say cheesy lines like that," Dean said, laughter still present in his voice.

I tried to keep my face from turning red, but I have a feeling I failed at doing that because Dean's laughter picked up again when he turned to look at me.

"Thanks though," Dean said, after he finished laughing at me. "I know that I'm not acting like myself, but it's just that Zachariah can kill any one of us, without breaking a hair and I don't think I'd ever be able to live with myself if my stubborn attitude got Sammy, Bobby or you killed. I just couldn't."

I nodded. I knew what he was going through. It was not unlike how he acted when his brother died before.

"Not to mention, I already made you lose your mojo and nearly get killed. I'm surprised you aren't pissed at me."

I smiled, "I am not angry at you, Dean. I do not blame you for those things anyway. I told you that."

"Well maybe you should."

"No, I should not. Dean you need to think better of yourself."

Dean was quiet. I walked closer to him and looked right into his eyes.

"Dean, you are a great soldier, a great hunter, and a great hero, and you know that. But for some reason, you do not believe that you are a great man. I am telling you now, that you are, Dean. Do not tell yourself otherwise. You are a great man who I am willing to make sacrifices for. The things that happened to me were not your mistakes, or repercussions for things that you did. They were sacrifices I was willing to make because I want to help you. So stop blaming yourself and figure out how to say "no" to Zachariah."

Dean's eyes were wide as he stared at me. I was hoping that I would have made him feel better and motivated him to fight, but the long silence made me nervous. Then after what seemed much longer than a mere minute, Dean spoke up.

"Cas, you're too good for me," Dean teased. He immediately got up afterwards and smiled at me. "Thanks again, though. I think in some way that helped, or at least let's hope it did."

I smiled. It was not my intention, but I think in a way I was returning the favor.

**I hope you liked the chapter. (: Again, I'm sorry it took so long to get this up, I've been very busy lately. Please post nice reviews and constructive criticism as always. Thanks! (:**


	10. Quick Update

Hey, I just wanted to post a quick update for this story.

I'm sorry that I have not posted a new chapter in a few weeks and I probably will not update for up to two more weeks. July is the busiest month of the summer for me and this summer has been especially busy. I have not given up on this story though and will hopefully update regularly starting in August. Again, I'm sorry for making you wait so long and I hope that you will enjoy the future chapters as they come out. Thank you. :)


	11. Chapter 10: Our Best Bet

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

***Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.**

****I just want to say thank you for being patient for me to update this story. It means a lot and I hope you continue to enjoy it. :) And also, Happy Esther Day. I love you guys. -hugs- **

I had the opportunity to tell Sam and Bobby what was really going on and part of me felt that would be the best choice, but I did not tell them. Dean wanted to keep that information from them, so at least for now, that is what I was going to do.

Our situation seemed kind of hopeless however I looked at it though. Dean only had a few days left before Zachariah came back for him and I could not do much at all to fight for him.

What choice did we have left?

I looked over at Dean, Sam and Bobby. I watched them look through the notebook looking for anything that might help. They were determined to make things work; they always were. So I decided to try for them.

"If we could kill him…" I said, mostly to myself. Three pairs of eyes looked up at me as I spoke.

"How would we do that?" Sam asked.

"I don't know." I answered.

"But it's possible, right?" Dean asked.

"Yes. But I cannot," I said, "as I am now."

"Well how would you do it, if you could?" Dean asked.

"It would be difficult. Zachariah is very strong, but an angel killing blade should be able to kill him."

"I'm guessing you don't have one though," Dean responded.

"No. I did, but when I lost my grace, my blade was taken as well. I should have thought ahead and given it to you guys, but I did not. I apologize."

"Do you know where you can get another one?" Bobby inquired.

"Well many angels carry them, so if we could find one who does-" I answered.

"Then we can take theirs," Sam finished.

"Yes, however, we will have to be very quick and prepared. They won't let it out of their hands easily," I said with warning.

"But you think we can do it?" Sam asked.

I nodded. This plan might work after all.

…

I explained the details of how this plan would work and everyone agreed that it was our best option. The only negative side to this option was that it was cutting it close. Extremely close. We were to get the blade the day Zachariah came back and depending on how things went, possibly take him down not long afterwards. If the plan did not work, we would not have much to turn to. But it was all we had.

I showed the three hunters how to make an angel banishing sigil and made sure they knew exactly how it worked. After that, we just had to wait and prepare ourselves. We did not know exactly when Zachariah was going to come back. Dean had said "a few days", but that was not very specific. So we had to be ready.

And I figured that we should also be prepared for the worst. As much as I did not want to think about it, I could not help but to consider the possibility that this day could be my last with Dean. It was possible after all.

So I decided to go talk to him. I looked around and eventually found him sitting on the trunk of his beloved Impala with a beer. It was starting to get dark outside, but he did not seem like he was planning on coming inside anytime soon. I walked over to him and smiled as best as I could. He gave a quick half-smile and moved over a little so I could sit beside him.

I sat down and was surprised when he bent down and pulled out another beer from a cooler beside his car and handed it to me. I took it and just held the cold drink in my hands. Neither of us broke the silence for a long time.

"Do you actually think it'll work, Cas?" Dean asked, after a while.

"I do not know." I admitted.

The silence returned.

Dean was the one to break the silence once again. "You know what's funny?"

"What?"

"I still don't remember dying, going to hell, killing Azazel or anything that happened over the past few years. I don't remember these things, yet I feel like I know so much more than I did when I woke up in that hospital bed."

"Well you do know more. We told you about some of the things that you forgot."

"I know. But that's not what I'm saying. I don't know. Forget I said anything."

I waited before saying anything else.

"And then there is you."

I looked up at him with a confused expression.

"I still don't remember knowing you before I lost my memory, but I feel like I've known you for a lot longer than since you introduced yourself in the hospital."

I smiled a little. "That is strange."

"Yeah. You think it's because we've spent a lot of time together recently or because we were so close before or something like that?"

"I do not know. It is possible, I guess."

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Have you ever thought of where you would be if you never got involved with us?"

"No."

Dean laughed, "Yeah, you probably don't want to think of what you could've had, huh? I'm sure you'd rather be perching on a cloud than drinking beer in a salvage yard."

"No, that is not it," I paused, "I am much happier here actually."

Dean stared at me in disbelief for a moment and then went back to drinking his beer.

"Oh, really? I find that hard to believe, Cas."

"It is true. There is something about you, Dean, that I…" I trailed off.

"What? Are you going to tell me you are love with me or something?"

"No," I lied, "but I am thankful for having met you. You have affected me more deeply than you will probably ever know."

"Okay, Cas, enough with the girly talk," he looked down at my beer that I hadn't even taken a sip out of yet, "You even going to drink that?"

"Oh, I forgot about this." I admitted.

Dean laughed, "You idiot."

I smiled and took a sip of the cold drink. Dean took one as well and then the silence returned once more.

It was not an uncomfortable silence, in fact, it was the opposite. It was a peaceful silence. It was a peaceful silence that lasted until I had finished the whole bottle of beer and the sun had long set.

Suddenly Dean got up from the trunk of his car and closed up the cooler of beer. He turned to face me and signaled to head inside for the night. I understood and got up as well.

When we came inside, I noticed Sam smiling at us. I quickly grasped that he had left us alone on purpose and that he might know more about my feelings than I thought.

I tried not to look embarrassed, but that was not something I was good at. Sam's smile widened, which caused my face to get warmer and I can only imagine how pink my usually pale cheeks became.

Despite that though, I was happy. I was happy to have spent time with Dean talking and just being each other's company. Even though I had much to fear and I had my doubts about how well we will be able to overcome the issue hanging over all of our heads, I truly was happy.

I just wished that it could have lasted longer.

**I hope you liked the chapter. Please post nice reviews and constructive criticism as always. Thanks! :)**


	12. Chapter 11: The Fight

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

***Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.**

That next morning, we were all ready for the attack. Zachariah did not come until the late afternoon, however, and once he did arrive we all quickly noticed that we may have a terrible problem.

Zachariah appeared in the middle of Bobby's study, where we waited, but something was wrong. He came alone. He rarely ever came alone, and I figured he would not think of coming alone for something this important. Though, I guess if he figured we would not resist, then he would not need any backup.

That was the key point to our plan though. We needed to get a blade from one of his men. I quickly tried to think of another way other than aiming for Zachariah's own blade. I looked over at Dean who looked like he was trying to do the same.

"Hello, Dean. You ready?" Zachariah said with a smile.

"Look, you can't make him say "yes", Zachariah!" Sam shouted. I watched as a painful expression formed on Dean's face. He closed his eyes and cursed under his breath.

"Make him say "yes"? What? You mean he didn't even tell you?" Zachariah chuckled, "He already said "yes"! Or at least agreed to, but I'm not going to let him off easy if he tries to double cross me."

"You said "yes"? Dean! What the hell were you thinking? Why did- How could you not tell us this?" Sam shouted. Bobby shot a dark look towards Dean and then back at the angel in the center of the room.

"I just didn't want you to give up on this! I didn't want you to think that there was no way out of this and I didn't want you to go and do something stupid because you were so desperate to save me! Okay? It doesn't matter now, so just drop it." Dean responded, pain in his voice.

I had to do something.

I slowly reached over to grab a short knife from Bobby's desk and hid it up the sleeve of my coat. Then I carefully began to cut the pattern of the angel banishing sigil into my arm.

"So are you going to be a man of your word or are we going to have complications? Because I can assure you that I can break your little friends like I did before if you need convincing," Zachariah teased.

Dean clenched his teeth tightly as he tried to formulate some sort of plan.

"Well?"

And that's when I gave it my all. I quickly pulled up my sleeve and pressed my hand against the bleeding markings. It was painful. If I were still in my stronger form then it would be nothing, but in this form it caused my arm to sting and I could feel myself becoming more and more lightheaded. It was something I was willing to deal with though.

A bright light came at once and banished Zachariah. I hoped that this would give us enough time to figure out what to do next. As soon as the light faded, I fell to my knees and exhaled a long breath.

"Cas! Are you- Oh God, what did you do?" Dean said as he knelt next to me and noticed my arm.

"It is okay, Dean. I just need to stop the bleeding."

"I'll go get you some bandages. Dean, put pressure on it!" Sam said as he ran into the other room.

"How long do we get?" Bobby asked.

"I do not know, but not too long. We need to work fast," I answered. Dean was using his hands to keep pressure on my injury. I looked at his determined expression and wanted to say something to him, but I could not find the words.

Sam quickly returned and brought some clean pieces of cloth to tie around my arm. He insisted that I keep an eye on it and try not to move it too much for a while. I worried that this would make me less useful for whatever we were planning to do next.

….

"Nothing! We got nothing!" Dean shouted. He was getting more and more upset and so were Sam and Bobby. They had agreed to avoid the subject of Dean not telling them exactly what was going on for now, but I could tell that it was still on their minds. I felt a little guilty for not telling them, but I tried to keep myself focused on the issue at hand.

We tried to come up with another plan, but nothing seemed like it was going to get us out of this mess. Although no one voiced it, we all were thinking the same thing: we stood pretty much no chance at all.

...

When Zachariah came back, we were not ready. He returned much sooner than I would have guessed he would. And he was not happy. His usual cocky smile was replaced by an angry expression and as soon as he arrived he looked directly at me.

I glared back at him, anger building up inside of me. I was not going to let him take away Dean.

"Cas!" Dean shouted. I turned my head towards him and that was when I noticed something. Zachariah brought backup this time. Maybe we did have a chance!

I nodded at him quickly and then jumped towards one of the angels beside Zachariah. As I predicted, the angel took out his blade to fight me, forgetting that they could kill me much easier now that I had my grace taken. I fought to take it from his hands. I could hear Dean, Bobby and Sam fighting up against the angels to keep the rest of them away from my fight.

It was worth it too. I was able to take the blade and use it on its owner. Afterwards, I turned around and lunged towards Zachariah. If I could get a good hit then this could be over. Then this would be over.

I felt the blade go into Zachariah's shoulder, but something was wrong. Suddenly I could not move, my body was still and for a moment I could not feel anything other than a burning pain in my chest. I watched as Zachariah's lips curled into that familiar smile. He was wounded; I got him, but he was smiling. Why?

I slowly looked down and watched as blood oozed from my chest and from my mouth. His own blade was deeply pushed into my chest. My vision began to blur and sounds faded in and out. But I got him, didn't I? I thought.

I saw Dean out of the corner of my eye. He was coming towards me, shouting something. I wished that I could hear him.

My body hit the ground roughly and I felt Dean's touch not long after. He was still trying to talk to me. Then Sam's hands pulled me over towards him and dug through my clothes looking for the wound. He also kept saying something to me. I think he was asking if I was okay, but I really could not tell.

The first noise I heard after I was stabbed was the faint sound of shouting. It was Dean. He was shouting at Zachariah. I noticed Zachariah was not smiling anymore and he was holding his shoulder, trying to cover a bright light being released from it. I smiled a little, knowing that I did get him after all.

The silent argument seemed to get more intense, but I did not get to see the end of it as my eyes finally gave out.

I continued to feel Sam's touch though. I felt him try to get me to open my eyes and I felt him holding the wound on my chest. I felt these things for a little bit longer, but soon they seemed to disappear as well.

…..

I do not know how much time had passed, but some time later I could hear again. It was quieter than I was used to, but I could make out the voices and most of what they were saying.

I waited to hear Dean's voice. I hoped that he was here, wherever I was. I could hear Sam's voice and the voice of a stranger, but where was Dean?

**I hope you liked the chapter. Please post nice reviews and constructive criticism as always. Thank you! :)**


	13. Chapter 12: That Last Evening

**Remember Me**

**Destiel**

**(Spoilers 5x01) Dean gets injured on a mission and ends up with amnesia. He doesn't remember anything or anyone from the past few years; including Castiel. Dean/Castiel.**

***Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.**

****This is the last chapter guys. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading! :)**

I listened to the conversation between Sam and some female whose voice I did not recognize. I hoped that Dean was here too, but if he were here, he'd probably have spoken by now.

They were discussing my condition and, from what I could make out, it did not sound good.

As the conversation ended, I heard the door close and Sam flip his phone open. He waited and then spoke softly.

"Yeah, the nurse said he might wake up, but…" He trailed off and then waited. "I'll tell him."

He hung up and took a deep breath. I wondered just how bad this was. It was then that I noticed that I still could not move. And I could feel some kind of machine help my body breathe.

I heard the door open again.

"What the nurse say?" It was Dean! I felt relieved now that I knew he was okay and here with me.

"It's not good, Dean," Sam said.

"What she say? Will he even wake up?"

"She said he might, but even that is…uncertain. If he does wake up, it probably won't be for too long either." Sam spoke softly and he seemed to have to force some of the words out.

Dean was silent for a moment.

"Damnit, Cas!" He shouted. Sam did not speak for a while after that and neither did Dean. The room was completely silent except for the sounds of the machines keeping me alive.

…

"Cas?" It was Dean's voice. I tried to open my eyes once more and this time something was different. I could feel my eyelids move little by little until I was able to peek through the opening I had made. I could barely see, but this was more than I had seen in so long. And what made it better was that the first thing I saw was Dean staring right at me.

"Sam! I think he's waking up!" Dean said, excited.

"Really? I'll alert a nurse," Sam replied.

"Cas?" Dean said again, leaning closer.

I forced my eyes to open further, and surprisingly it became easier the wider they opened. I looked at Dean and tried to give him a smile that let him know that I was alright.

Dean's expression lit up and then he sighed with relief. "God, Cas, I thought you were never going to wake up."

A small laugh escaped from me, but it made my chest feel tight. I did not think Dean would notice, but I guess he did because his cheerful expression faded a little and he looked at one of the devices attached to me.

He was quiet for a moment and then began to speak again, still staring at the device.

"We got him, by the way, Zachariah. Thanks to that wound you gave him, we were able to kill him."

I smiled. We were able to do it after all.

Dean laughed a little, though it seemed to be forced, "Now we just need to get you better so we can go out and celebrate a little."

I laughed a little again.

It was quiet for another moment and then Dean put his hand on my shoulder. "Thanks, Cas," he said, looking at me with a sad smile.

I nodded and smiled back at him. Then the nurse came in with a doctor and they looked at me and at the machines beside me.

"Well, you seem to be stable, so that's good. Is anything in a lot of pain right now? We have you on morphine, but your injuries are, well, pretty severe." the doctor said, he looked genuinely concerned for my well-being.

I shook my head to let him know that I was okay and he smiled.

"If you need anything, let us know," he said and then he signaled to Sam and Dean to leave my room with him. The nurse stayed by and waited inside.

I wanted to listen to what they were talking about, but I could not hear anything. I watched, but Dean and Sam's backs were towards my window so I had no way of knowing what the doctor was saying to them.

They came back inside and the nurse left soon after. They were quiet so I decided to take the opportunity to ask.

Talking caused more pain, but it was not unbearable. "What did he say?" I said in a weak voice that did not sound at all like what I was used to speaking with.

Sam and Dean exchanged glances and then Dean took a couple steps closer towards me.

"It was bad, Cas. Zachariah hit you…and humans usually can't," he paused with a painful expression on his face, "live very long in the kind of condition you are in." He exhaled deeply and his eyes seemed to wander around the room for a moment before he continued. "But, they said you might not wake up and you did. So you just gotta keep fighting, okay, Cas?"

I nodded.

…..

It was starting to get darker and I was getting worried that Dean and his brother would have to leave soon. I regretted spending as much time as I did sleeping, but Sam had insisted that it would be better for my body.

I was happy to get to spend a few hours talking with my two friends though. They kept the conversation light for most of the time, but did bring up the topic of Dean's amnesia. They told me that after Zachariah died that Dean got more and more flashes of memory, except now they were more familiar to him. He was not just seeing things that happened anymore; he was actually gaining back memories. This surprised me, but I was glad to hear it.

…..

The next day I woke up around mid-afternoon and was happy to see Dean sitting beside my bed.

"Rise and shine," he said.

"Where's Sam?" I asked, talking was still a little painful, but I tried to just ignore it.

"He's getting us some lunch with Bobby. They just left a couple minutes ago."

I turned my head to stare at the strange machine beside me.

"I remembered you, by the way."

Surprised, I turned back to face Dean and stared at him in confusion.

"I got back my memory of meeting you," he said, "You used to be such an asshole."

We both laughed.

"But seriously, I like you much better how you are now," Dean said as he pat my arm.

The room became quiet for a moment. I watched as Dean tried to hide the pain he was feeling with a forced smile.

"Dean…" I said.

"What?"

"Could I tell you something now? I have wanted to tell you this for a while, but, I could not find the strength to."

"What is it?" Dean asked, confused.

"I do not think that you feel the same emotions towards me as I feel towards you, but nonetheless I want to tell you that I believe I am in love with you."

I wanted to close my eyes so I could not see Dean's reaction, but instead I forced myself to keep them open. I watched Dean's mouth open with surprise, but no sound escaped from it.

I turned to look the other way. "I am sorry. I just wanted to tell you in case I…" I stopped.

"Cas…"

I turned to look back at Dean. He was the one who was avoiding eye contact now. I waited for him to speak again.

"I like you too, Cas. I mean, in that way, I think. I can't say I really know for sure what it's like to be in love, but I feel like this might be it," Dean said, his cheeks were a faint shade of red. I smiled.

"I am glad you feel that way."

Dean laughed a little, "And I'm not just saying this 'cause you are in the hospital either, in case you were thinking that, which you probably weren't. But I'm just putting that out there."

"It is okay. I believe you," I said, laughing a little as well.

…

The rest of the day went well. The four of us just talked and ate. The doctor told me I actually was not able to eat normal food yet, but that did not bother me. In fact, it felt more normal that way.

The next day, however, did not go as well. My chest started to feel an intense pain and I started to cough roughly. The doctors ran tests and spoke to my friends. My eyelids became heavier, but the nurses insisted that I try to keep them open. So I did.

The doctor then explained to me what he was going to do. I did not understand, but I trusted this man and hoped that whatever he was going to do would work.

I was not conscious for the procedure, but I woke up later in my familiar room. I looked around and found Dean, Sam and Bobby standing nearby.

I tried to ask them what the news was, but I found that talking was more difficult than it was before. After hearing a small noise escape from my mouth instead of a voice, Sam quickly picked up a piece of paper, turned it over and handed it to me along with a pen he dug out of his pocket.

I took the items and tried to write down my words. My hand felt stiff, but I managed to write the word 'news' with a shaky question mark next to it. I handed it back to Sam who looked back over at Dean and Bobby. I waited.

Dean stepped forward and was the one to speak. "The operation did not work."

I gazed down at my hands and slowly nodded.

"But…Sam and Bobby have been looking into any places that might be able to heal you," Dean said, desperately. "We…we haven't found anything yet, but it's possible. You just have to keep holding on, Cas. We'll fix you up, just wait, okay?"

I looked up at Dean and tried to force a smile, but I cannot imagine that it was at all convincing. I watched as Dean clenched his teeth together forcefully and tightened his fists. I could see him trying to keep his eyes from tearing up.

It was painful to watch.

Sam did not try to stop him as he stormed out of the room. I guess he knew that Dean needed some time alone.

…..

Later that evening, after Sam and Bobby had to leave my room, I heard the door open. I looked up expecting to see a nurse, but saw Dean instead. He put his finger against his lips signaling for me to be quiet, though I could not really make much noise anyway.

He walked up to my bedside and brushed his hand through my hair. The affectionate touch made me smile an earnest smile. My vision had gotten worse over the last hour or so, but thankfully I was still able to see Dean okay.

"I'm sorry, Cas," Dean whispered. I tilted my head in response. "Just for everything. If I had not gotten you involved…" I stopped him. I softly put my hand on top of his.

I picked up the pen and paper Sam had left beside me and began to write.

Dean watched curiously as I scratched a message in messy writing.

"Do not blame yourself. It is okay, Dean."

"Cas."

And then he leaned over and kissed my forehead. A tear ran down my cheek as I tried to enjoy every second of that moment. It was one of those moments that I was once told of; a moment that seemed to last so long, but yet feel so short at the same time.

That night turned out to be my last. I feel like the timing was a gift though. The fact that I was able to spend my last moments on Earth alone with Dean in that way before finally falling asleep made me very thankful.

…..

Well, they were my last moments, but they really were not my last moments. I did die, but somehow I was given another chance at life. My eyes opened effortlessly and I looked around. I was in a church laying in one of the pews. It was late at night so the church was empty, but I was confused. How did I get here? How was I even alive? Not only was I alive, but I was an angel again.

I looked up and quickly figured out what the answer must have been and smiled. Then I took off to go to Bobby's home, hoping that they would be there.

And they were.

I watched as all three of my dear friends stared at me in disbelief. I looked into Dean's eyes and stepped towards him. I did not have to move any farther though because he walked right up to me and hugged me tightly.

"We gave you a hunter's funeral," he said with his arms still wrapped around me.

"I was given another chance," I said in reply. Dean just hugged me tighter for moment and then let go.

"Well, we're glad," he said, roughly patting the side of my arm.

Sam and Bobby smiled and nodded towards me. I smiled back at them and then turned back to Dean.

I truly was happy. Somehow things managed to turn out alright.

**Fin.**

**I hope you all liked the story. Thanks for reading. Please post what you thought of the ending and the story in general. I'd love to know! Thanks again. :)**


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